iSee 200 Eye Massager
Maplin, when I was a kid, were quite good. I used to buy components from them through mail-order. Now they sell any old tat.
This made me double-take, though.
I get a lot of headaches, always have, and many of them involve pain in my eyes. So when, as I was grazing in the aisles, I spotted this little box of delights I picked it up for a closer look.
The front of the pack seems reasonable enough. It has a picture of a high-tech looking eye... er, thing.
Here you see our model looking a bit like one of the Special X-Men.
It also has the coolest name of any product from a high-street store. It's not just the Eye Massager. It's the Eye And Brain Massager. How can anyone resist its temptation? Then I read the back of the packet. Then I took a photo of it, came home and looked it up online. The packet says it works by the principles of acupuncture. The first site I found selling the product described it as working by magnetic therapy: "plenty of research and study proved that magnetic field can have great effect on human bodys tissue, organic, nervous system".
What's wrong with saying it rubs your eyes and feels nice? Want to know what Maplin have to say in their description? "Now, here’s the science behind it all. Magnetic field, in the form of physical energy, when applied on special acupuncture points, can activate the function of the cell, enlarge the blood capillary and raise the level of oxygen supply, improving the nutrition state of tissues of cells, and balance the self-disciplined nerves"
Yes, they say that. The bit about, "now, here's the science..."
I shall be writing a stern email to them this evening.